The doldrums—as in “I’m in the doldrums.” Don’t look for it on a map, on a globe. Don’t expect your GPS to locate it, either.
In the early 19th century, the term was used to mean ‘a general state of low spirits’.
“The Doldrums is the region of calm winds, centered slightly north of the equator and between the two belts of trade winds, which meet there and neutralize each other. It is widely assumed that the phrase ‘in the doldrums’ is derived from the name of this region. Actually, it’s the other way about. In the 19th century, ‘doldrum’ was a word meaning ‘dullard; a dull or sluggish fellow’ and this probably derived from ‘dol’, meaning ‘dull’ with its form taken from ‘tantrum’. That is, as a tantrum was a fit of petulance and passion, a doldrum was a fit of sloth and dullness, or one who indulged in such.”
The euphoria of the Christmas season is gone. I always take my holiday decorations down the weekend after Christmas. Sometime, soon after the gifts are opened, the last of the cookies consumed, the days off from work have come to an end, I find that the sparkly, shiny, glittery stuff arranged throughout my home no longer feeds my enthusiasm like a runner’s endorphin rush.
What?! It's over?The interior of my home begins to annoy me. I long for simplicity, less clutter, more quiet, less jarring color, more subtlety. By December 30, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” one of my favorite Christmas tunes, is wearing out its welcome in my head. I must turn it off. I have to find a substitute. I listen to pop music on Pandora hoping that a different tune will stick.
I feel like I’m sitting still on this boat, wind out of its sails, not going forward, not going backwards. I suppose it’s time to paddle towards the direction I want to go.
I’ve got a craving for a larger change in 2012—something significant enough that I’d start the day with a jolt. Something big enough to be felt as I come to the end of my day. No, not marriage! Goodness gracious, why did you go there?!
My list of big change ideas has yet to take shape.
So, I start out small, making the minor changes that alter my environment. I put the Christmas decorations away. I move furniture around. I hang paintings that have sat on the floor for a year. I give away clothing that will never be worn again, I get a haircut, I change my diet, start running, clean and organize my studio. The small changes are practice for working on the big ones. And the completion of even small changes greases the wheels for the bigger ones to come. I hope this is the case, though I could see myself forever making the smallest of changes, nipping away at barely noticeable edges in my life. That worries me. I won’t recall these little things by the end of 2012 and then, I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. I’d hate for my biggest accomplishment to be the fashioning of 365 felt ball Christmas ornaments.
I need a hearty, lively trade wind to fill my sails and get me out of this bobbing boat. I need to assign someone as my stand-behind-me-and-give-me-a-shove-person. Or a kick-me-in-the-rear end person.
It’s time to make the bigger changes. What about you? I’m not talking New Year’s resolutions, mind you, although those could be bold, big changes. Nope, 2012 has to involve some big changes that will leave me with something satisfying at the end of the year.
Are you feeling the need for a big change?
Artist, illustrator, writer and owner of two Boston Terriers. Living in Boise, Idaho at the base of the beautiful foothills. My art website is www.snoringdogstudio.com.
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